Keeping Dark Secrets

Serge Bertasius at http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/

Years ago, I worked for a wonderful woman who was a great boss and a good friend.  She had struggled for years to conceive a second child.  One day in a staff meeting, she grinned and told everyone the news, she was finally pregnant.  As soon as she said it, a wave of complete nausea settled in the pit of my stomach.  Dear God, I knew without a doubt she would loose the baby.  I was heartbroken for her.  Yet, she was laughing and joyful sharing her good news with the group.  What could I do?  I forced a smile on my face and congratulated her.

Each day watching her anticipate the new life within was torture.  My knowing that it would end badly did not help her at all.  Even though we were close, I could not tell her.  What would be the point?  Even if she knew she could not change the outcome.  So I hid my sorrow and played along.  After a few months of agony the inevitable crisis finally occurred.  Over the weekend, she had started to hemorrhage badly and was rushed to the emergency room.  Not only did she loose the baby, but she almost bled to death.  She had to have emergency surgery to stop the bleeding.

Did I make the wrong choice?  Was I supposed to warn her?  Even if I had, I don’t think she would have listened.  I am convinced telling her would have ended our friendship. This painful experience left me with so many unanswered questions.  What is the purpose of knowing the future if it can’t be changed?

I do feel that there is a broad sense of meaning in the universe.  But I am not convinced that our individual experiences are micro-managed by a puppet master.  To me it feels more like a maze that we are challenged to navigate with the tools we have been given.  Back then my future sense only surfaced rarely or maybe I only paid attention when it was dire. So most of the warnings I received years ago were related to death.  So rather than welcome the warnings, I felt burdened by a knowledge I did not feel ready to share.  All I could do was stay close and spend as much quality time as possible with those who seemed to be at risk.  As I look back now, maybe I was missing the point.

As I have learned more about the unexplained, I see so many possibilities.  Rather than telling them about the warnings, maybe I should have intervened.  Should I have helped them prepare for death in some way?  Should I have comforted them and reassured them that death is only a step on our journey?  Should I have tried to heal them?  As bizarre as that may sound to modern folk, there is research to suggest it is possible, not to mention thousands of years of tradition.  But even now years later, with a much stronger sense of the reality of the immaterial world, I still don’t know.

This is the reason I am sharing my stories.  I don’t have the answers, but I can’t be the only person struggling with the questions.  I would love to hear from the others who are on a similar journey.  Maybe together we can find some answers.

Origin Story

“We are not physical beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a physical experience.”  A very wise friend…

Matter and energy are neither created nor destroyed, but transformed one from another in an endless cycle of renewal.  Is renewal the only purpose or is there more?

So many times have we been reborn in matter, transformed and and anchored to a place and time.  Each birth a life forgotten and a love lost.  Yet, each new beginning an awakening and renewal.  A small step toward bridging the gap.

continue….

Why Bother?

Recently a colleague at work was given a bridal shower.  That morning, I went to buy a card to wish her well.  I found a pretty card with a wedding dress image on the front.  I picket it up and wanted to buy it.  But as soon as I held it, I knew I should not buy it.  I did not know why.  Later as we sat watching her open her gifts, she opened a card from someone else, and it was the card I had put back. 

Clearly, my warning was that someone had already chosen that card for her.  But why would my future sense give a warning on such a trivial issue.  I don’t really care if I give her a card she already has.  So why would my subconscious, some other entity, or worse the universe at large care about that enough to warn me?

Too Crowded

On the plane arriving into Chicago, we touched down and felt the strong pressure of braking.  I was just thinking that it feels like we are going to run off the end of the runway.  Within 10 seconds, a man in my row spoke to his companion and said, “A southwest plane crashed here in XXXX, you know.  Yep, it was icy and it went off the end of the runway and through the wall and into the street.  It killed a couple in a car.” 

I sighed inside. So much for the illusion of peace and privacy in my own thoughts.

Paranormal Parenting

Recently, I asked my son who is almost 6 if he remembered telling me about the skeletons talking to him from under the road, when he was three.  I wanted to see if he would now say it was a made up story or game.  He readily admitted that he did not remember that happening, but he had heard a voice talking to him recently while we were driving down the road.  Huh?  He had not mentioned it before.

What voice did you hear. when and where? He explained that a few weeks ago as we were driving through an intersection near his school that we pass every day, he heard someone talking to him.  At first he thought it was me talking to him.  But it was soft and different from my voice.  It said his name then said, “You will join me here.”  This is the same area where he told me skeletons under the road talked to him when he was three.

I gathered my wits and asked basic questions, was it a boy or girl, old or young, fast or slow, etc.  It was a small girl’s voice.  Have you heard other voices? No.  He said the first part of his name was not clear, but the rest of it was very clear.  He is sure he heard it.  How did it sound?  He then imitates the voice, as a soft harsh whisper.  “you.. will.. join.. me.. here..”

skeleton

I finally found the courage to ask him, “Why did the voice say that?” He shrugged at first, looked out the window and said, “I don’t know.”  So I tried again, “What do you think it means?”  He said, “I think it means I will die there.”

I just sat there stunned.  How do I respond?  I don’t want to minimize this at all, but I do want to comfort him.  I blundered around and finally just told him that I don’t think that will happen.  My future sense does not seem to have a warning about it, but clearly something dark is calling to him.  How do I help my child deal with that?

Mind over matter

ironAs I walked early this morning on the peaceful tree lined streets of my 1960’s neighborhood, I thought about the difficulty in knowing anything about our reality with certainty.  Looking around, I tried to find some anchor that would help me reconcile my paranormal experiences to the everyday physical world.

I look at the rust on a sign pole.  I know the steel of the pole to be strong without needing to test it, in spite of the minor decay.  I understand the oxidization that creates the rust.  It is a regular and predictable process.  The rust is is a simple material component of the tangible world.  A mundane counterpoint to my esoteric thoughts, with no real bearing on my life or my musings.  Or is it?

Are the literal nuts and bolts of this sign the only basis of reality, or is the material world an illusion?  Does the rust really exist or only my perception of it?  If my reality is determined by my perceptions or observations, why would I bother to perceive the rust when I would prefer a more uniform finish?  What meaning or purpose could this little patch of decay have for me, a living and presumably conscious being?

Letting this muddle stew a while in the back of my mind, I decided to learn a little more about the rust that so rudely defaces this once proud symbol of civilization and progress.  I needed to brush up since my last science class was a few decades ago.

  • Iron is a relatively abundant element in the universe. The sun and many types of stars contain iron in quantity.
  • The Earth’s molten core is thought to be composed mainly of iron. This core is believed to be the source of Earth’s magnetic field, which protects our atmosphere from radiation that would destroy it, and incidentally us.
  • The red of Mars is ferric oxide, showing that the atmosphere once contained oxygen, the oxygen that is only liberated by life.
  • The iron group are the only metals that fall from the sky.  Iron is found native in about 6% of meteorites.
  • Iron is a shiny, bright white metal that is soft, malleable, ductile and strong.
  • Iron is the most abundant metal on Earth, but in its pure form rapidly decays.  It is only found naturally in it’s metallic form in meteors.  So how did the first iron metals come to be smelted by humans?
  • Like other metals, iron forms a crystalline ionic compound when bound by ‘resonance’ to carbon.  The resulting forms can have special electrical properties when molten or dissolved in solution.
  • There are multiple forms of iron.  One form is magnetic, but when iron is transformed into another form, the magnetism disappears, although the lattice remains unchanged.
  • Iron is vital to plant and animal life. In humans, it appears in the hemoglobin molecule in our blood.
  • Ferrous sulphide can form crystalline FeS2, known as the mineral pyrite.  Pyrite can be struck with iron to produce sparks for making fire.
  • The ferrous ion is greenish in solution, while the ferric ion is a light violet. The distinct colors of iron compounds are due to the d-electrons, which can interact with light in many interesting ways. Various ferrous compounds have been used to color dies, paint, inks and glass.
  • The ability to smelt and work iron into usable forms was instrumental in the development of human civilization.
  • Iron is also found in minerals such as magnetite, which is commonly seen as black sands along beaches and stream banks.  A layer of magnetite can be an indicator of the presence of gold dust.
  • For manufacturing the versatility of iron-carbon alloys, such as steel, cannot be matched in any other material.
  • Iron can be induced to provide a strong magnetic field with only small excitation by an electric current.
  • Potassium ferrous ferricyanide is Prussian blue, which can be used as a medicine to counter some forms of radiation poison.
  • The magnetism of the iron group of metals is a rare and remarkable property. It is not due to any inherent magnetic propensities of the atoms, but to the structure of the metal.
  • The six ton Iron Ashoka Pillar of Delhi is about 1600 years old, 98% pure iron and has not corroded.  This artifact is believe to demonstrate the technological sophistication of past civilizations.

For more fascinating info on iron see http://mysite.du.edu/~jcalvert/phys/iron.htm.

Upon reflection, the rust I pass every day and take for granted is in fact a demonstration of the unmatched power of elemental iron to shape and reshape our body chemistry, our technology, our art, our civilization, our planet, our atmosphere, our stars and our future.  The power of this element comes not from its stability, but from its instability and its readiness to react with carbon and oxygen which are literally the core components of life.  True alchemy is not to turn lead into gold, but to turn star dust into life and clearly iron is the catalyst that enables that to happen.

My new respect for rust causes me to reflect on the illusion that material reality is fixed and static.  It only appears so due to the limited range of our basic senses, infrequent insight and short lifespans.  A never ending flow of wave-particles, fields and forces compose everything around us.  They just happen to produce an artifact that we call the material world.  All of the things around us are constantly changing, while we exert our greatest effort to bend even a tiny portion of matter to our will.

Clearly the universe felt I needed a lesson in humility today.  Point taken.

Feeling the call

When I was a teen, my family was on a nature walk in a Florida swamp near the Everglades.  As we slowly moved through miles of cypress swamps and oak hammocks, we started to hear a strange loud howl.  It would call out ever few minutes.  We seemed to be the only people out in the swamp that day. I don’t remember the weather or time of year, but it was most likely summer. After a few calls from one side, another one started calling from the other side of us.  Gradually the screaming howls got closer from both sides.  We assumed it was panthers, what else could it be?  But as they got closer we become utterly terrified and ran for the exit as fast as possible.  We never saw the creatures making the eerie calls.

I spent my whole childhood roaming the swamps alone, played with a half grown panther in captivity and even learned to call alligators.  I have never heard that sound before or since.  I have listened to recordings of panthers, bears, wolves and coyotes.  None of them sound like what we heard that day.  It was not until I heard recording of calls attributed to Sasquatch that I realized that could be what we had heard.  Logically, it could have been mating panthers, which I understand make an awful noise.  But the sound had no cat like tones.  It was more of a yell than a howl.  I have owned cats for many years and heard lots of their talk, hurt, mad, sad, etc. but that core cat sound was not there.  If it were panthers, would they have been so close to people during the day? I understand that panthers need about 26 square miles of territory each and rarely cross paths with each other. Either way, what we heard was a truly rare and terrifying experience.

I heard the hosts debate a Bigfoot sighting on Mysterious Universe Plus, I think it was on Episode 10.12.  The couple reporting the Bigfoot reported feeling fear, discomfort and metal banging before a sighting.  That reminded me of the research of Vic Tandy I had been reading about recently.  It occurred to me that if Bigfoot uses infrasound to communicate as some animals do, then humans would have that kind of seemingly paranormal experience if they were around.  This could also explain the complete terror our family experienced in the swamp that day.  Also the metal banging could be caused by a standing wave of infrasound.  See wikipedia for more info on his work with infrasound and the paranormal.

So I did a bit of checking and found this nice write up of that same idea by ‘flesh and blood’ Bigfoot researcher, Cliff Barackman.  This would help explain some, but definitely not all of the high strangeness around them.  My own experience with receiving others thoughts and tends to suggest that some of the ‘paranormal’ traits often attributed to Bigfoot could be true, but they could also have physical abilities that far exceed our own.

Igniting a star

The dream of igniting a self-sustained fusion reaction with high yields of energy, a feat likened to creating a miniature star on Earth, is getting closer to becoming reality, according the authors of a new review article in the journal Physics of Plasmas.

In the early morning hours of Aug.13, Lawrence Livermore’s National Ignition Facility (NIF) focused all 192 of its ultra-powerful laser beams on a tiny deuterium-tritium filled capsule. In the nanoseconds that followed, the capsule imploded and released a neutron yield of nearly 3×1015, or approximately 8,000 joules of neutron energy—approximately three times NIF’s previous neutron yield record for cryogenic implosions. http://phys.org/news/2013-09-fusion-weve.html

Clearly, we are living in the end of the fossil fuel age.  One estimate is that fusion fuel could be made for as little as 25 cents per use and yield 50 to 100 times more energy than is needed to initiate the fusion reaction.

Will this brave, new world lead to energy abundance for all or a monopoly for a few?  I would like to believe that this technology will be used to drive a new economy that is more sustainable and less exploitative than the oil economy of today.  But I suspect that the level of technology needed to produce this power would enable a higher consolidation of wealth.  Once such a power source becomes available, the market for fossil fuels will shrink to the point that developing economies that are entirely dependent on them may collapse and further destabilize regions already in turmoil.

For a detailed explanation of how the two main types of experimental fusion reactors work, go to http://science.howstuffworks.com/fusion-reactor2.htm.

I also wonder about the potential to weaponize fusion reactions.  A quick search turned up this disturbing info below.

pure fusion weapon .. would require no fissile material and would therefore be much easier to build in secret than existing weapons. The necessity of separating high-quality fissile material requires a substantial industrial investment, and blocking the sale and transfer of the needed machinery has been the primary mechanism to control nuclear proliferation to date.

Pure fusion weapons offer the possibility of generating very small nuclear yields and the advantage of reduced collateral damage stemming from fallout because these weapons would not create the highly radioactive byproducts associated with fission-type weapons…. The neutrons may cause substantially more casualties than the explosive blast, as in a neutron bomb.

If I understand this idea, a pure fusion weapon would destroy living things without destroying the infrastructure or leaving radiation.  How tempting for a new wave of colonization in areas of great instability world wide, instant vacancy – ready for new owner.  Science fiction author Isaac Asimov said that “Such a neutron bomb or N bomb seems desirable to those who worry about property and hold life cheap.” in The New Intelligent Man’s Guide to Science. Basic Books, New York, 1965. Page 410.

In a 2001 DOE Declassification document titled RESTRICTED DATA DECLASSIFICATION DECISIONS 1946 TO THE PRESENT a power threshold is set for classification.

Research and development on lasers will be classified if power level exceeds 100 gigawatt, or pulse energy exceed 1 kilojoule. Any laser application (for any power whether or not classified) that achieves DT ignition will be classified Restricted Data. DT ignition is defined to be a 1% rise in temperature or mean charged-particle kinetic energy at any point in the gas [target]. (64-7) http://www.fas.org/sgp/othergov/doe/rdd-7.html#I59

Does this mean that if the lab succeeds in gaining ignition, the technology becomes unavailable for commercial development?  Do the results reported today, exceed this level now?  Or does it not count yet, because they did not achieve ignition.  So are we one step closer to Utopia or one step closer to Armageddon?

Density Map of Bigfoot Sightings in the US

bigfoot map

The clusters of reported sightings in areas of low human population density, but with substantial habitat suggests a level of legitimacy behind the overall pattern of sightings.  If sightings were usually hoaxes or wishful thinking, then they would tend to be more evenly distributed.  However, just because the sightings are consistent, does not mean the being itself is a lost primate.  To me the most critical detail in any Bigfoot sighting is actually the smell.  That seems to be the hardest part to fake and the least likely to be imagined.  Anyone care to overlay this map with one that denotes degree of encounter, including the smell factor?

This is a great example of how aggregating anecdotal information can lead to a much clearer overall picture.  It has been used to show that UFO sightings cluster around military installations.  This method would be helpful for a number of unexplained events.  Unfortunately, most academics are not likely to get grant money to cover the expense.  Maybe we need to form a fund raising foundation to give grants for academic research into the alternative topics science ignores.

Disintegration

Image

As Buddhists have been telling us for thousands of years, the self is an illusion.  In neuroscience, the seat of consciousness can’t be localized in the brain, or even the body with any certainty.  There are strong examples of some people who continue to be aware after death.  People who are intimate experience ways of knowing when something is wrong with their loved ones who are far away.  Carl Jung was convinced that there was a collective unconscious that stored and shared knowledge across all boundaries.  New developments in theoretical physics suggest that everything we know as matter, space and time are built on misunderstandings of how the universe works.  I have often felt that the me I see is not the real me, that thinks and dreams.

So what are we doing here and why do we exist?  Who or what am I?  Such big questions should have big answers.  But I am beginning to think that the answer is actually very small.

In all of the hubris of the mechanistic model of medicine. the focus had been fighting a war on disease.  The body is our battleground and pharmaceuticals and surgical tools are our weapons. Yet as hard as we try to attack, the ‘enemy’ keeps stepping aside and changing course so that we are often a step behind.  While vaccines have created a dramatic reduction in some deadly and crippling diseases, so many other viral invaders have taken their place.  Our sterile world of sanitized babies and aversion to dirt has robbed our bodies of the practice needed to build up a strong immune system.  When some hostile bacteria do get a foot hold we rush in with antibiotics to save the day.  Yet our hospitals are over run with resistant bacteria. About 100,000 people become ill each year from hospital acquired resistant infections.  So what are we doing wrong?

Scientists are making inroads in explaining the ways in which gut microbes alter the effectiveness of certain medicines, influence our immunity and metabolism, and even affect our mood. Their findings suggest that modulating the microbial communities within us — perhaps as simply as through dietary modifications — could potentially address a wide range of conditions, including inflammatory diseases, obesity and anxiety. http://www.livescience.com/39762-microbe-host-dynamics-nigms.html

Our gut bacteria also play a role in the manufacture of substances like neurotransmitters (including serotonin); enzymes and vitamins (notably Bs and K) and other essential nutrients (including important amino acid and short-chain fatty acids); and a suite of other signaling molecules that talk to, and influence, the immune and the metabolic systems. Some of these compounds may play a role in regulating our stress levels and even temperament: when gut microbes from easygoing, adventurous mice are transplanted into the guts of anxious and timid mice, they become more adventurous. The expression “thinking with your gut” may contain a larger kernel of truth than we thought.

Justin Sonnenburg, a microbiologist at Stanford, suggests that we would do well to begin regarding the human body as “an elaborate vessel optimized for the growth and spread of our microbial inhabitants.” http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/19/magazine/say-hello-to-the-100-trillion-bacteria-that-make-up-your-microbiome.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

Our bodies’ microbiome is home to around 100 trillion different organisms.  More than 99% of the genetic material in our bodies is not human.  There are literally pounds of these organisms in and on our bodies.  Without them we would die.  So did they evolve to serve us, or did we evolve to serve them?  After all, they can control us, but we can’t control them.  We act on emotion and our sense of ‘self’ but how do we really know what that self is?  Maybe we are a colony without any meaningful existence as a single organism.

Could all of evolution be driven by the needs of bacteria to control their environment?  Some researchers even think our genetic material has been rewritten multiple times by virus activity.  Some comets may have seeded our planet with bacteria or viruses from other worlds.  All human cultures say that we were made by the gods, and that the gods taught us the skills we needed to survive.  So now we are diligently reshaping vast parts of this world, and taking our tiny overlords to all corners and beyond.  Is the voice of god really the chemical signals from inside to serve and obey?

I wonder if the interconnections of friends and families goes beyond the bonds of affection.  Once we share bacteria with someone, we may become intertwined in a larger network.  The ‘spooky action at a distance’ described by Einstein and others could link back to the interconnected particles of matter that came from the same source.  The shared state that entwined particles have is known to span vast distances of time and space.  Are the paranormal forces at work in our lives, not our own but the product of other beings inside us?  Do they somehow fundamentally shape our perceptions with their signals so that we can never see past the veil?