Category Archives: Reality

Mind over matter

ironAs I walked early this morning on the peaceful tree lined streets of my 1960’s neighborhood, I thought about the difficulty in knowing anything about our reality with certainty.  Looking around, I tried to find some anchor that would help me reconcile my paranormal experiences to the everyday physical world.

I look at the rust on a sign pole.  I know the steel of the pole to be strong without needing to test it, in spite of the minor decay.  I understand the oxidization that creates the rust.  It is a regular and predictable process.  The rust is is a simple material component of the tangible world.  A mundane counterpoint to my esoteric thoughts, with no real bearing on my life or my musings.  Or is it?

Are the literal nuts and bolts of this sign the only basis of reality, or is the material world an illusion?  Does the rust really exist or only my perception of it?  If my reality is determined by my perceptions or observations, why would I bother to perceive the rust when I would prefer a more uniform finish?  What meaning or purpose could this little patch of decay have for me, a living and presumably conscious being?

Letting this muddle stew a while in the back of my mind, I decided to learn a little more about the rust that so rudely defaces this once proud symbol of civilization and progress.  I needed to brush up since my last science class was a few decades ago.

  • Iron is a relatively abundant element in the universe. The sun and many types of stars contain iron in quantity.
  • The Earth’s molten core is thought to be composed mainly of iron. This core is believed to be the source of Earth’s magnetic field, which protects our atmosphere from radiation that would destroy it, and incidentally us.
  • The red of Mars is ferric oxide, showing that the atmosphere once contained oxygen, the oxygen that is only liberated by life.
  • The iron group are the only metals that fall from the sky.  Iron is found native in about 6% of meteorites.
  • Iron is a shiny, bright white metal that is soft, malleable, ductile and strong.
  • Iron is the most abundant metal on Earth, but in its pure form rapidly decays.  It is only found naturally in it’s metallic form in meteors.  So how did the first iron metals come to be smelted by humans?
  • Like other metals, iron forms a crystalline ionic compound when bound by ‘resonance’ to carbon.  The resulting forms can have special electrical properties when molten or dissolved in solution.
  • There are multiple forms of iron.  One form is magnetic, but when iron is transformed into another form, the magnetism disappears, although the lattice remains unchanged.
  • Iron is vital to plant and animal life. In humans, it appears in the hemoglobin molecule in our blood.
  • Ferrous sulphide can form crystalline FeS2, known as the mineral pyrite.  Pyrite can be struck with iron to produce sparks for making fire.
  • The ferrous ion is greenish in solution, while the ferric ion is a light violet. The distinct colors of iron compounds are due to the d-electrons, which can interact with light in many interesting ways. Various ferrous compounds have been used to color dies, paint, inks and glass.
  • The ability to smelt and work iron into usable forms was instrumental in the development of human civilization.
  • Iron is also found in minerals such as magnetite, which is commonly seen as black sands along beaches and stream banks.  A layer of magnetite can be an indicator of the presence of gold dust.
  • For manufacturing the versatility of iron-carbon alloys, such as steel, cannot be matched in any other material.
  • Iron can be induced to provide a strong magnetic field with only small excitation by an electric current.
  • Potassium ferrous ferricyanide is Prussian blue, which can be used as a medicine to counter some forms of radiation poison.
  • The magnetism of the iron group of metals is a rare and remarkable property. It is not due to any inherent magnetic propensities of the atoms, but to the structure of the metal.
  • The six ton Iron Ashoka Pillar of Delhi is about 1600 years old, 98% pure iron and has not corroded.  This artifact is believe to demonstrate the technological sophistication of past civilizations.

For more fascinating info on iron see http://mysite.du.edu/~jcalvert/phys/iron.htm.

Upon reflection, the rust I pass every day and take for granted is in fact a demonstration of the unmatched power of elemental iron to shape and reshape our body chemistry, our technology, our art, our civilization, our planet, our atmosphere, our stars and our future.  The power of this element comes not from its stability, but from its instability and its readiness to react with carbon and oxygen which are literally the core components of life.  True alchemy is not to turn lead into gold, but to turn star dust into life and clearly iron is the catalyst that enables that to happen.

My new respect for rust causes me to reflect on the illusion that material reality is fixed and static.  It only appears so due to the limited range of our basic senses, infrequent insight and short lifespans.  A never ending flow of wave-particles, fields and forces compose everything around us.  They just happen to produce an artifact that we call the material world.  All of the things around us are constantly changing, while we exert our greatest effort to bend even a tiny portion of matter to our will.

Clearly the universe felt I needed a lesson in humility today.  Point taken.

Downside Up

Last night I dreamed that I was traveling with friends on a train over a long distance.  As we traveled, we would occasionally pass through a tunnel that would immerse us in total darkness.  As we emerged into the light again, each time I noticed something else that was just a little bit different.  One tunnel would change a companions hair, the next another’s pants, as it went on the results progressed in intensity.  Eventually a whole person was replaced.  I seemed to be the only one who noticed.

Then I shifted and I was a mother who had lost a child during one of the tunnels. I looked every where for my missing child.  But as I asked, each person seemed more and more confused as they had not seen a child with me.  Finally, I stopped asking and began to realize why.  Although it felt as if all of these changes were happening in front of me.  I eventually realized that the people around me are not changing places, instead I was the one who was sliding from one reality to the next.

In the shadows

Most people seem to accept the idea of a supernatural/paranormal level to existence, even if they do not claim to know exactly what that is. Although I have had some contact with the unseen for most of my life, I have never felt sure of what is out there than I somehow catch echos of.  My experience tells me that most religious traditions have codified an allegorical reference to someone’s long ago authentic experience.  But the narratives have been so distorted that ‘truth’ is not clear.   How can we peel back the layers and find the substance?

As I let the many traditions and modern theories swirl in my overloaded brain, I cannot escape the impression that all paths are ways to approach the same thing.  If there is truly one core metaphysical reality that somehow interacts with our own, what would it be.  If we sift all of the common elements together and then stop back, what kind of picture emerges?  So many have proposed unifying ideas of the other, but so far I have not felt that ‘snap’ that indicates a solid lock.  To me so many traditions seem to have a gilded facade that may hide a darker truth.  What unpalatable reality may be underneath the stories of faith and redemption?

So far, these attributes seem to fit the essence of the many traditions:
–  There is a form of consciousness that exists outside of our daily sensory realm.
–  There is an inherent connection between that entity and ourselves.
–  I suspect some kind of symbiotic interchange exists between us and has for most of our existence as a species.
–  Conversely, there seems to be some faction of the entity that is parasitic and hostile.
–  They do not inhabit the same sensory realm as we do.
–  They seem to need something intangible but essential from us.
–  They seem to be capable of manipulating our perceptions.
–  They are shadows in our world and we are shadows in theirs.

Possible interpretations:
–  We are pawns in some other entities long term internal power struggle.
–  We provide something intangible they need or want, so they manipulate our perceptions to elicit certain reactions.
–  We may be a form of livestock to them to be maintained and drained as needed, as aphids are to ants and as cows are to us.
–  We are not supposed to know what is really going on, we are fed lies and illusions to pacify us.
–  We are somehow related or connected, yet not eqipped to directly interact without an extreme effort or altered state.

Critical questions:
–  Some of their reality does spill over into ours, but how much is real and how much is illusion?  Is the distortion intended or accidental?
–  Where they somehow responsible for our existence, as so many traditions refer to a creator?
–  Are they a remnant or a vanguard?

Glitch in the matrix

A few days ago, late in the evening, I walked into my living room which has a high a peaked ceiling.  Just as I stepped into the room, I glanced up at the peak windows and the night reflected a swirl of black above me.  My mind immediately dismissed it as shadows from a ceiling fan.  Then my conscious thoughts caught up and realized that this house, which I have lived in only two years, does not have ceiling fans.  I looked up again and the black swirl was no longer there.  So I began to convince myself it had been an odd shadow or my eyes reacting to the change in light.  Well enough.

Until I turned and saw it again in a different corner of the room.  It was a set of spiral bands of black pivoting around a central point.  But the arms were not straight, they were twisted as if distorted by the rotational movement.  Once again, I tried to dismiss it in my thoughts, but I had no explanation.  Then I realized what made the sight so odd at first.  The first time I saw it, I saw it as a reflection in the glass, which would place it above my head.  The reflection was not complete, as the source overlapped the edge of the glass, so I only saw about two thirds of the swirl.  The second time I saw it in a specific location in the opposite corner of the room, away from me and I could see all of it.  If it was an illusion or my eyes playing tricks, why would there be a reflection of a partial image in the glass, rather than the whole imaginary image?

Learning to use my earth suit

I always knew I was different, but did not know why. I felt like a changeling who had been switched at birth with a human child. I did not feel any form of kinship with the people around me. These odd, volatile people could not be my family. Although there were minor physical resemblances, I was nothing like them on the inside. My life felt wrong. It was as if I had an internal compass that pointed somewhere and I needed to get away. I could feel the pull of it every day. But I had no idea where I was supposed to be. I kept waiting for my real family to show up and take me away.

When I looked in the mirror, I could see a face but it did not feel like me. I could see a body, but it felt remote and I still have no emotional attachment to it. I often bump into things wherever I go because I don’t sense where my body is in relation to the stuff around me. This body continues to feel like a suit of clothing that I am wearing temporarily.

As I was trying to fall asleep one night in my teens, I felt a peaceful sense of drifting. It felt a little like falling asleep but more focused and aware. As I drifted, I had a memory of drifting similar to this, but no idea of when or where I remembered it from. I began to re-experienced a hyper-clear memory of gradually letting go. It felt so good, like a kind of relaxation only more of the mind than body. The peacefulness was complete and felt wonderful. I drifted further and further while holding just a tiny attachment to myself. Then finally I chose to let go completely. I left the body behind and became only peace. I knew with utter certainty that I had remembered dying. I could choose to leave again if I wanted. This was my freedom to experience this life only if I choose to.

So I understand why I am not attached to this body. It is not my first one and I will someday leave it behind. The body is not truly me. It is an incarnation of me and will serve it’s purpose. These human bodies are adequate, but do not come close to being enough to house our entire existence.  Being human feels like a larval stage of development. Somehow we must complete this part of the cycle before emerging transformed in the next.

Having an earth suit is useful and I value the ability to experience the colors, textures, food, music, conversation and snuggles. But often all that input is overwhelming and distracting. Only in the calm and quiet of my own inner world do I ever feel like I am my true self. Maybe it is only the inner awareness that will continue past this life that is the truest part of me.

I have recently learned that there is a label for people like me. I am just beginning to explore what I am, and it has given me a new perspective. I know who I am and always have been. Finding a label could not change that. But it has given me some way to finally begin talking about my experience and what my place in this universe could be. Someday, I hope to have a homeland and a people. Until then, I will consider myself in exile and dream…